I'm sort of a happy and content girl but somehow I became sad, and sorrow. I didn't realized it until the day I wrote this post. Kalau dulu, aku tak pernah pun rasa hidup aku susah. Asalkan ada semua keperluan dalam hidup, aku dah cukup gembira. Have a small group of friends, I'm happy. Have a meals even though the food from hostel dining hall, I'm delight. Have a decent place to stay, I'm grateful. Even a small thing happened in my life, i feel great.
I think it changed when I'm in form 4. I kept failing in different subjects at school. Add math, Pendidikan Quran sunnah, Chemistry and more. The stupid 16 years old of me didn't change and have determination to study more, but I busied myself with school magazine project. I kept dragging everything till I'm Form 5. The year of Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM). At that time, I already set it in my mind that I'm never gonna make it. Well for sure, it makes my condition a lot worse.
SPM Results Day, of course, I got really bad result. My brother was mocking my dream to become dentist. Yes his mocked at me jokingly but you know, it was a REALLY unsuitable day to joke with me. I was going through a heartbreak because of the result, and now he reminded me of my shattered dream. Thanks god for the sweet 4 years of the dream. At least, I am a dentist in my dream haha.
Lol I guess Malaysia university didn't even peek at my application form at all. Ada hati nak apply for science stream punya course dengan markah SPM macam ni lol. I received offer letter to study architecture course at UiTM but of course, I rejected the offer. Silly of me, I know. Sampai sekarang aku rasa alahai Azizah kenapa lah angkuh sangat nak course science stream jugak. Terpengaruh dengan kawan yang pandai-pandai dan telah brainwashed sejak dulu yang budak science mesti ambil course science. "Rugi lah tak ambil course sains dekat universiti. Dah belajar sains susah-susah sejak dulu, ada peluang kerja lagi banyak, yada yada yada. Well, just a bullshit.
After all the chaos, Alhamdulillah, I received an offer from matriculation college. Hands down to the best memories ever I had in my entire life. No lies. I never feel regret as I spend my entire one year life at there. Valuable roommate(s), friends, lecturers, cats, students council at hostel, and etc. Except for the expensive as heck cafe. That's why I managed to reduce my weight almost 4kg (wow I'm impressed). My favourite subject for both semester is of course Computer Science. I managed to get A for each sem whichhh is something I should be proud of haha. You did well Azizah!
After all the chaos, Alhamdulillah, I received an offer from matriculation college. Hands down to the best memories ever I had in my entire life. No lies. I never feel regret as I spend my entire one year life at there. Valuable roommate(s), friends, lecturers, cats, students council at hostel, and etc. Except for the expensive as heck cafe. That's why I managed to reduce my weight almost 4kg (wow I'm impressed). My favourite subject for both semester is of course Computer Science. I managed to get A for each sem whichhh is something I should be proud of haha. You did well Azizah!
The calm before the storm. This is just the beginning.
Stay tuned for more my wrecked academic life in Going through a heartbreak (Part 2)! ❤️
No comments:
Post a Comment